Sept. 15, 2023

“Behind the Sash: Adelaida’s Advocacy & Evolution” #117

Adelaida Nuñez Vazquez Puerto Rico born/East coast raised. 54yrs old, 5 years an advocate for Industrial Hemp and all this HEMP today. BG/ sexual assault counsel,  welfare to worker, CBT/MI for adults from prison and model , actor, co author of Behin...

Adelaida Nuñez Vazquez Puerto Rico born/East coast raised. 54yrs old, 5 years an advocate for Industrial Hemp and all this HEMP today. BG/ sexual assault counsel,  welfare to worker, CBT/MI for adults from prison and model , actor, co author of Behind Closed Doors with Daniela Roman on survival of DV and Miss Cayey Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 1989 2nd to the win for PR to Miss Universe.

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[Music] all right we are live good morning good
morning Miss Addie how are you doing today good morning good morning Mark I am excellent on this Monday morning and
afternoon wherever it is today as we're speaking
do we have a delay that's great so yes we are live and you're all the way in Puerto Rico and uh I'm out here in
California how's the weather out there we good is the weather good we are we are good uh
Mark we
must buy so this week the hurricane Lee is heading towards the eastern part of
our United States the Northeast which is where I'm from uh originally from Bronx
New York BX in the house any Bronx listeners ah I've been there done that
and um and New Haven Connecticut is my hometown I lived there for 30 years so
it's a little concerning but right now uh we just have a lot of wins
the wins yeah that's that gets to be that's what
it is out there you know you got it you know unfortunately Puerto Rico has to deal with that quite often so
yeah we're we're Smackdown yes well that's
that's correct you're right there in the midst of it so I'm going to go ahead and Miss Addie I'm going to go ahead and let you introduce yourself and then we're
going to get right into this interview I welcome you to the show of Beyond the Mat look forward to having our chat today and what we're going to learn from
you today I'm looking forward to it so miss Adam you take it away go ahead and introduce yourself Namaste everyone
in Puerto Rico we use our two last names to represent the mother and the father of our of our being so uh I am 54 years
old I am currently in the industrial hemp uh business I am in the housing part of
it the building part of it the construction part of it and I'm also in the fashion part of it
where we also have textiles of every kind every every feel and the best part
of it all is that my background is 20 years of CBT and Mi which has
cognitive behavioral therapies motivational interviewing I was uh dealing with sexual assault crisis in
New Haven I was dealing with welfare back to work and I also come from a background of recidivism rates being
lowered due to reasoning or Rehabilitation by Dr Ross in Canada
wonderful 14 steps 14 sessions revamping your mind your way of thinking
and also the motivational part motivational interviewing which I use with all of many of my clients from the
past and many of them have come through but the best part of that Mark
is that when you become that facilitator and you also take in what you're
facilitating it becomes the best it becomes the best because then you are
the teacher and the master of what you just learned and what you want other people to learn because you're going
through it you're experiencing it and so I adapted those learnings of the r r and
the Mi to myself and my current situation at the time and trust me when
I tell you I would not be here today if I didn't follow those steps in those sessions to become more so my audience
and my groups became more I think I had a one percent return or two percent
maybe that's too much returned back to prison for one reason or another after
they've attended my groups and I'm also a bilingual interpreter
man yeah it's a lot it's quite a resume quite a resume what you got going on but we had we had just a small chat right
before we came on and I'd ask you if you're living in Puerto Rican you say you're coming up on two years of this now
and you had to make a decision right to leave um children and grandbabies behind so let's let's dabble into what that looks
like and and why we made that move yeah uh yeah I have uh 30 years of
living in New Haven Connecticut sorry I get emotional because when I had my second daughter I always
blame my second daughter I have two daughters beautiful beautiful girls beautiful women uh mothers right now so I have four
beautiful grandchildren not because they're mine because I love them
um but I wanted a better space to raise my children and I decided from Bronx New
York living there being raised there not having the childhood that I should have
had and the word should have I use it lighting because when you stick to the word
should it almost locks you in like a contract and it really isn't life is not
a contract life is what it is it's choices it's things that people make for
you when you're young and you're a child you have no say and so growing up in the in New York in
the Bronx I wanted a better life for my kids and when I got pregnant of my oldest daughter I decided to want
country life I wanted a calm life I didn't want the fast Russell and bustle that Manhattan brings you or Brooklyn or
Queens hey what's up BX uh but at the same time I wanted something quiet so I went to New Haven
Connecticut uh which is was my residence for 30 years and looking for something
more and wanting something more I ended up before that I ended up coming
to Puerto Rico in my teens and that's where the stash comes in because in search of my biological
mother with no clue no map no nothing just probably 35 dollars that I received
from a generous donor in New Haven Connecticut at the time when I was a young teenager I came to Puerto Rico to
look for my birth mother and that encounter became the most traumatic
yet leading part of my life
and this is why I'm here today almost two years living back in Puerto Rico my
birthplace and looking for that reason for living
my why and so and so and how is that how is that going
how is that working it's uh
it's a it's a learning a learning curve uh are you familiar with the word
neuroplasticity so neuroplasticity that's a big word so
no I'm sorry I don't know if it's
and be that difficult since I can remember people always told me why do
you use big words and I'm like they just come to me
and so neuroplasticity I wrote a paper on this uh in my in my College Gateway
Community College in New Haven Connecticut uh by the way I'm a College Dropout
there's a lot of things that are not on a plus side of my of my resume
and so with neuroplasticity it becomes new ways to think new ways to look at
things new ways to I used to do this this way habitually and now because I'm
in a new environment with new people with New Attitudes new foods everything is new here for me even though I'm
Puerto Rican I was born here I even represented my city of birth in Miss
Puerto Rico 1989. it's somewhere in the YouTube uh in the YouTube archives of my
life and even with that it didn't mean a thing it didn't it
didn't equal being Puerto Rican it just equaled I was in a beauty pageant
nothing happened so life went on and so I went back to
the States I went back to New York I went back to Connecticut to be honest
and I ended up having my first experience being a single mom pregnant
and I had my daughter and I said okay so then this is my life so
instead of going to Hollywood I went to babyhood and uh it was the best decision
I think I've ever made in my whole entire life because it has brought me to where I am today and bringing this home
and finding my roots and looking for myself as a person and not the person
that was created when I was living in the U.S of a it's a it's a it's a new feeling it's uh
to tell you the truth it's brand new to me being home and I'm here for a reason I'm here to bring you you know
Industrial Hemp to the eyes of my people to the Islanders of the ones that want
to root here that they want to stay here that they want to die here
gotcha it's a big deal well let's dabble into what what
let's let's talk about what is you the terminology what is industrial
hemp let's talk about what that is so Industrial Hemp hemp the plant itself
it's the Cannabis sativa cousin sober cousin so this is the cousin that you
want to take to the bar when you want to get mashed up this is the cousin that you can take
with you everywhere and he will be your designated driver because he is 100 safe
and so the industrial plant of hemp which now we recognize uh I know
California has been growing the industrial hemp and hemp for CBD purposes
when I looked at it four years ago mark I was like oh my gosh I had never heard
of him before 2018. or 2019. between that and between that time I always knew
about marijuana trust me when I tell you I smoked it in the Bronx that's where I was where I learned 420 but 420 wasn't a
thing back then when I was a kid that was the back in the 80s uh but to learn about hemp and learn
about the plant and learn what it can do and learn what it has been doing in the
past 5 000 years blew my mind it blew my mind to a point
where I was like what am I doing with my life this is like gold this is I call it Oro
Verde I call it green gold Mark can you see that
I called it gold but this is the this is the results
that I was able to gather and bring with me from a trip that I took to South
Dakota a month ago as a matter of fact peace out let me I want to shout out CHP
complete hemp processing in South Dakota had Myers in the family you are in my heart
they process this growing hemp in South Dakota we have a amazing hemp Growers out there
and what this can do is converted into what we call and best
known as hempcrete and known in Europe for about a hundred
years already France Spain Africa even has one South Africa just completed a 78
or 74 apartment complex totally made out of this material called
hemp Crete better known as we now want to be able to turn it around and call it
hemp line binder because that's exactly what it is and so with this being said Industrial
Hemp is a level up that we just got our doors opened in
2019 with the reversal of the hemp growing federally uh the uh
I'm misquoting here right now but it was it was a door opener and so
when I read about it and I saw it uh I have all of my tags here in a little in
an S hook and so my biggest my biggest eye opener was at Yale business legal
cannabis meeting and I tell you it was the best 55 I ever
invested in my whole entire life because it has led me to hear two years later I was an MCE at the
industrial hemp opening for a complete hemp processing in South Dakota like I said we are opening more processing
plants Across America we are we are growing in Pennsylvania we're growing in
South Dakota we're growing in Ohio we're actually growing in California Believe
It or Not uh Pennsylvania even even Washington has taken an eye on us at the
ushba and so it's it's growing it's coming but why hasn't it been done
before because it was banned and so the ones that did it under the
table because you already know inventors they will move forward regardless of
what bands are there inventors and we'll feel in their heart a fire that has just
you can't even turn it off with with Kryptonite you can't even turn it
off with Kryptonite and so this is carbon sequestering mark
to a degree that everything around its atmosphere without quoting any specific details but
it is on the website everything is on there the ICC codes the
ASTM testing everything is on there and so we've gone from oh my gosh we
could do this right now with permission to there are many people coming into
this many women are coming into this good morning we have we have guests so I
just saw a pop-up uh we have many women many organizations are opening up we
have women Farmers that are growing industrial hemp and all we want
is this little piece of wood that's probably like a maybe three to five
inches long and we mix it with some water and some lime binder lime powder
that's it that's all the ingredients it's not a secret this is not KFC
this is for everyone why because the planet needs this carbon to go away
it damages everything it touches there are buildings that were built 40 50 years ago and they are tumbling there
are people suffering because of that structure that we believed in so much in the construction industry that right now
we have the alternative to carbon we have the alternative to to strength it
it just it's just that great and no one's going to believe it but you just got to see it for yourself
so I'm not here to convince no one mark that's not my job someone told me I was
a salesperson for this today or was it yesterday they marked it up and I said no I'm not a salesperson on this I'm a
True Believer I put my hands dirty with this I I have I got dirty hands making
my own this is my own hand cream that I made in July of 2021 thanks to hempstone
with Tom and Jennifer they were my leaders and instructors on this their universities doing projects on this I am
here in Puerto Rico looking for that one person to say yes let's go with this
plan let's go with this project let's build a structure of hempreet in Puerto
Rico to see what it gives us at the end so what
that okay so let's so let's let's talk to the
person that doesn't really even understand that so tell me exactly what this what what you're holding in your hand what is it what is this what is
this going to be capable of doing what does it do this is going to be capable of sequestering the carbon that
that let's just say it's a one bedroom kitchen living room home structured two
floors let's just say there's two floors and the walls will be made of this
there's no there's nothing else just the walls are going to be made of this now
our technology has gone to the length of building and patented by the company
himself a brick so now we can build your house with the bricks or the blocks or
even the old traditional way of tampering into two pieces of wood to
create your wall and technically it was used as an insulator
this insulation will keep out the the heat from the scorching Suns that are
hitting now Puerto Rico that many of our schools not even structures of people
that are living in apartments or houses but I kid you not when I do not make
things up even our educational structures are suffering this heat that
children are not able to learn because they can't concentrate they can't focus and so this will keep the heat out of
those walls penetrating through if this was a hemp wall right now I can retrofit
meaning in a construction way of doing it I can take maybe half an inch to an
uh an inch uh thick of this wall and take away from this room but guess what I'm giving myself
a clean space to breathe I could grow plants and herbs in a in a structured
four paneled wall made of hem cream
there it's made for sound proof you want a studio I can make you a soundproof
Studio guarantee that your neighbors will never hear your 100 decibels music
of Rolling Stones or or rock or reggae or whatever sounds you want to hear
because it is that good but you can't I'm like I said I'm not gonna sell this this sells itself
and for those who don't understand so you know Ray was on here right raise one of my uh
so raise on here he said he's wondering he's he's interesting
because this is the industrial side that you're talking about when we're talking about him you're talking about an industrial site and and how to do
something he's wondering this does this be expensive going that route this has to be expensive to go
that route what do you think about that if you're looking at the expense and not
the benefit then this is not a house for you because the benefits outweighs the
expense that you spent and put in to invest in your long-term Future these
houses last over a hundred years with no repairs
with no falling rooftops and 30 years
not at all and Europe has the proof interesting anywhere in France anywhere in Spain
anywhere in Europe you want to go to and ask for a hemp creep made structure through any of the architectural houses
that we have out there trust me when I tell you that they will tell you that those buildings are more than 100 years old
and still standing I'm still yeah I've never uh yeah so I've
yeah I've never heard um I've never heard this part of I know that hemp it has a a textile part to it that you know
you can matter of fact I just got a a fanny pack coming in that's hemp made yes that is awesome I understand that
there's a textile part of it and so this is all kind of new to me because when you
when uh is that yes is that hemp fabric there is that what that is yes it is this is hemp fabric
they are different there are different uh mixtures of it but we do have it with uh
uh um would it recycled poly this is recycled poly 55 hemp and three percent
spandex we could do an awesome set of pants and shirts with this because it's
stretchable material so kids could use this as a uniform when they're going to school we have uniforms now for the
children but it comes in all sizes even corduroy this is and we have canvas too
so yeah I'm into that as well
yeah it's interesting it's it's uh well when you it's hard to have a conversation about this because most of
the time when you start talking about hemp and stuff like that there's two there's two directions it goes right there's medicinal purposes and then
there's just like well they're just kind of you know they're smoking pot and that's what it is so it's it's interesting to have this
this conversation uh and I want to dabble into the CBD part of it also
because I know that in a for a personal side of it I've used some CBD for my animals for my
dogs especially now there is for those that are maybe not don't know much about
this there's a TCH side and there's a non-tch side right and so I've used them
both in my in in my dog where you know if they have a little bit of anxiety we used it but it got a little bit sick you
know they threw up a little bit with the TCH but the other one without it uh you can see a difference in them when
they get up and if we have an oil that we can rub on them um
I can see on my dogs that it's really good for for joint pain but since you're in this
world let me ask you some questions because we've got this for ourselves right I've gotten this
um CBD for joint pain but there's definitely a difference there's such a
big Market out there for what this is now you never know what's pure and what's not pure and what's really working and what's what doesn't work how
do you kind of dial into making sure that you've got something quality that's going to work especially for joint pains
and is this a way to that you see for it to go I have my own
I just I just started using I'm getting older and so I got it
directly from the distributor and the maker in South Dakota and
to be honest when you look at the ingredients when
you look at where it's coming from it it should I would say in my in my opinion
it should be tested by an overseer someone with a lab a laboratory tested
making sure that someone else says that it's okay that it's ingestible that it's
topical that it can go through the test because we have to test our CBD no matter what
um there's testing done on on everything to be honest but you got to look at what
Laboratories did they use are they credible what ingredients do they have and to be honest we are the consumers so
we make the product or we do not make the products so for me this one works
wonders I tell you I kid you not this joint right here if I I think I'm
getting arthritis or a touch of arthritis and so I never really took anything else and once I put this on
there there I cannot believe the fastest way to not feel any pain I
couldn't do this before I could not I kid you not and I am not the one to endorse any product Mark
trust me when I tell you I come from New York City I come from places where you know when you indoors you get paid no I
don't get paid for for saying any of this I speak the truth because I stand on my
truth and I've learned that through my through my my upbringing I learned that through business I learned that through
through all the teachings that I tell other people be honest even if it's gonna hurt even if it's just just be
honest and trust me when I tell you a lot of things don't work but this does work on your joints but look at look for
you know what Laboratories tested their products how did their results come back because that has to be open to the
public that information is open to the public so you have you you as a consumer should be concerned where are they
making all of this just like clothing just like our fabric where are they making this fabric are they using safe
and and Industrial rules and standards for the people are they under aging the
workers I would never contribute to a company that uses underage workers that's not I want to
come from I want to be a consumer somewhere where it's
logical where it's ethical where I can relate to the processes and
policies that they have and the standards that they stand for because nowadays that's what's coming out in the
open what companies were buying with the brand in the front but there's always a back office there's a back office where
is that back office you know is it illegitimate is it illegal is it mixed with THC higher than zero three percent
because remember our hemp has to be zero three or less in the THC department for
it to become anything other than him so I stand wholeheartedly and
um yeah products out there you got to be weird so yeah so I didn't
know yes see I didn't know that that's that's something else I didn't know I think a lot of this uh that is it has to
do with just um you know what you're going to look at are like my Generations let's just see
this so you see that you know the the pot shops pop up all the all the time right and and you know that some things
are abused you know they can they can say one thing just to do what they do but I'll tell you this I actually went
into my neighborhood one down here because I wanted a product my poor dog was just having such a hard time getting
up and so I went to the I went to the shop to see if I could talk to somebody I'm going to tell you so this young man that
was in there I mean he was very well versed on what CBD can do
the difference with TCH and not what he felt would be the best he had there are
several products he goes you know and he he was very educational for me to get
something for my dog to kind of put in there in their food
and you can see that there's a visible difference in him when he did it now he did say you know I
got the other one so when they're a little bit anxious there's a certain TCH in there that can
kind of calm the dog down but when I used that one I noticed that they
got sick they kind of threw up yeah when I used the one without TCH I could see
that there was you know so that that that little experiment it was better to use the one without it
and my dog isn't Super Hyper so it doesn't have that Super Hyper side to it where where you would you know or get
anxious when it's got to go to bed or you know a dog that gets all fearful when they hear fireworks and stuff like that so
you know and then he told me that too he goes a lot of times around the Fourth of July a lot of people come in for this uh
you know an anxiety for their animals but I was really and so I asked him about myself right I said okay you know
I'm an older guy I said I'm not interested in any TCH of anything at all because I don't want that I don't ever want to be tested that I have it being
with uh you know because I still kind of work with the police department right I said I don't want to be having this uh
and so he showed me product and he goes now if you start taking this
he goes and then he said you can do half doses of this because what my father does you know he has he had a his dad's
my age and for sure enough that I could see that there was a little bit more uh I
was able to work out a little bit better I was you know I felt a little bit better so
there's definitely an education process that's not there because
because there's two sides within industry right there's the one that's abuses it because it's just a you know it's just your local pot shop where you
can go in and say I got glaucoma so I need to be able to get my pot for the night and and and do it or there's some
real medicinal purposes that that help those with maybe chemotherapy
and stuff like that and it's just not talked about the the medical side of things because I
think everybody thinks it's just a a TCH thing and that's just not the case exactly no and it really isn't the case
I mean if you're going to be losing the
day the THC in the medicinal marijuana makes a difference because in a
dispensary if you're going to do a dispensary because we have to be honest sometimes we just you know people just
want it and they don't know what they're what they're ingesting and to be uh to be scientific we have uh cannabinoids in
our system already so that that that'll look for each other and it'll click it'll it'll hang on to each other and
when we ingest it or we smoke it or we Vape it or however it is it's getting into our system skeletally you know uh
but the CBD in itself by itself it is natural with no hallucinogen
because the only thing that THC is is a hallucinogen so it gives you that floaty
type of feeling where I take this is my this is my mint tincture I have a
tincture and I take my mint Tincher I do my my half of drop in the mornings and I
feel that I have control over things that I don't overthink things that I have a
clearer mind of where I'm going and what I'm doing on a daily basis and so it has given me the difference I didn't have
this before and a month into using this it has given me a lot more than I ever
had before even going to the gym so there's a difference between the medicinal marijuana use and the abuse
that others have because they still sell it illegally industry and it's not clean
I would take a dispensary medicinal marijuana any day compared to anything
else because I know they watched it I know they they know where the farm came from they know where it grew from they
know where the lab is from they know they've tested it and so this is what we want we want those tests just like when
we go to the doctor and we tell the doctor okay take all these tests and tell me how I'm doing humanly am I doing
fine they're like yeah all your levels are great so I rather take it from a dispensary for medicinal purposes and
CBD yeah that's it is an amazing product to be honest especially for us
all right for our pets too I have a cat so I'm about to give my cat some CBD
yeah you know that's where it all started with is um yeah I saw it make my dog feel better and so I'm like okay well if the dog's
feeling better I wonder if I feel better so uh and you know and and and I was real
adamant I said zero TCH man I did not want none of that so and and he explained to me and he showed me several
things and his opinion on what he felt is good and what you know and and so it
was it was quite an education when you go in there you know what I mean it's uh it's you know that store is very busy
that they make a lot of money oh trust me yeah when I tell you if you could
take a moment to look into the industry from when it started to where the where
we are today our projections are to 20 30.
in the billions in the building so I yeah soon
[Laughter] I don't know that's good well let's talk
about something else that you that that you know I hear that you know you were in Daniella's book
on uh in in the domestic violence so this is something else that you have quite a heart for is that correct yes
you wrote a chapter in a book yes I did uh as I was a facilitator for
that very thing I facilitated a curriculum called moving on for women coming out of incarceration
and many of the women coming out of incarceration I saw a trend as to why
they had gone to jail and many of them were in jail for domestic dispute uh
domestic violence many were with stories that were very light almost like a like
a fight in argument and nor in normalities we take it as it's normal
people argue all the time it's it's normal but to be honest from a
facilitator's point of view it really isn't normal that is toxic in a relationship
and so when you want to be able to tell them that there's a consequence behind
that toxic Behavior well this is why teaching them and showing them
the right way of doing things became one of my missions so as a facilitator for
domestic violence I then realized I'm living in domestic violence myself
so it doesn't domestic violence is not the word violence the way we look at it
domestic means that it's someone you know someone Close to You someone within your domicile
the violence part we added that word and I've always cringe when I say it it is a
domestic interaction that turns violent
and so the interaction begins with the yelling and screaming and the name calling and then you just escalated and escalate and escalate it and I realized
that I was also going through that same thing my ex-husband
was a law enforcement officer
and so I made it a little difficult for me to say but wait a minute we're on this side of the law
but it's unlawful to have a domestic dispute with your partner so how would you upholding the
law the way you are yet being the perpetrator
to this relationship and
I had to get out of it I had to get out of it I was in it for a really long time I was very lost as a person as a woman
and being this facilitator and helping others at the same time like I said I
applied it to myself as becoming the master of my reasoning and Rehabilitation my moving on my my
motivational interviewing I took all of that in and I said oh my gosh wow
I didn't realize it come years later Nikki Cuesta is our
bomb leader uh leader and Our Ladies of leadership leader
and thanks to her and our relationship she's actually my cousin my uncle is
married to her mom they've been together for over 30 years so hi Titi hi Theo uh
and so through Nikki's ladies of leadership I met Daniella and we talked
and there was a group of women and I was like oh my gosh should I say my story should I tell and I never had done that
before not at this level and so it was a nice connection uh I was
able to pick chapter eight and my chapter eight was peace of mind and
that's exactly what I wanted out of this relationship I just wanted peace of mind like I just wanted to be peaceful I wanted it
to be like the white picket fence that I saw growing up in the 80s darn it and it wasn't and it was a big shocker to me
that life was not what I saw on television and I left uh I left I I saved myself I
went through so much oh my gosh I don't know how many Rock bottoms I was able to touch but now I wear Beach shoes those
those little shoes that you wear in the beach so that way you don't touch the Rocks I wear those now
and I've been out of the relationship for a really long time I regained my my
self-respect I regained my dignity and through this book I was able to purge
whatever was left so thanks to Daniela Roman thanks to AMA uh behind closed
doors is a third volume she's now currently working on a third volume and these are just women who have survived
and have leveled to a different place in their lives and then as Leaders of Our
Lives we must not ever take abuse from anybody no it doesn't matter
who it is no it doesn't matter the relation it doesn't matter the political uh office title it doesn't matter your
position it really doesn't matter a human to a human should never abuse another human in any capacity
yeah I agree with that I think that's that I agree with that I think that you
know we we see a lot I've I've spoken about this in some of these uh men groups also because we see that
it's very prevalent in the to talk about domestic violence and for females but I'll tell you there's a there's there's
another uh side to that also that males go through
but on a male side it's just like you just need to shut up about it because uh
you know you talk about stuff like that you kind of look weak so you know and
that's the stigma Mark there's that there's just a side of that's right it is true that is the
stigma yeah that's the stigma to tell you on uh
my groups the running groups for women I was running
groups with men I ran groups with men who did 20-year bids 30-year bids
and they turned their lives around to me the odd one out I know nothing about
their backgrounds I've never stood a day in their shoes I didn't understand their lingo but what I did get was that they
all were emotionally deprived of expression
and so with that comes frustration and out of frustration comes your behavior which becomes your act
whether you do it positive or you do it negative it's still an act within yourself so the group of men to be
honest many of them turn their lives around many of them uh gave their their
relationships another opportunity I had a chance for them to come back to me and tell me little changes here and there
and I probably like I said before I lost about one or two percent back to the prison because of the way they were
thinking but but I actually catered this uh RNR and Mi to my my mail folks so
trust me when I tell you express yourself babes
yeah that's a uh that's a super hard um that's a super hard pill for for males
to follow to uh you know Express themselves you know what I mean it's it's in our world
especially you know when I went through a divorce and how how I went through it 20 years
ago I remember the anger that you know and especially
type 8 men like myself you know a very type a type of Personality that if I
didn't get my anger under control it's gonna control me and so I I I went
to a six-month anger management class to try and figure out how to uh put this uh elsewhere you know
what I mean how to do that and I'll tell you when I went there there's a lot of them that are mandated by court that
they had to do this yeah and so and I'm not a big uh I don't really like sitting around a group of of guys
on you know most men don't like to sit around and sing Kumbaya and tell everybody their Woos and and their stories but I'll tell you this man when
I was sitting there I'm like man I'm mild compared to some of these guys holy smokes man these guys were
on another level of anger you know what I mean yeah and so uh
um I said you know I was like man if I don't have this under control I
could be this next if I'm not careful and so I remember that I remember doing
that myself because I had children and I had a business that I that I built
and I had children watching me and I was super angry it was not fun to be around and I was and I'm dangerous
because I could do you know because of my training and I didn't want that to
change my my life's trajectory because of what I would be capable of doing to
somebody so I did that I did that on my own it's interesting that you know you're the second uh female I've talked
to that when they talk about these groups that you have a group of men that you talk to it's interesting to me
that you you I I don't know again maybe you come to come to it in a different perspective when you sit with a group of
men I'm not really sure because you're coming to it from the female perspective I I don't know how how did you how did
you communicate with that how did you communicate with these guys I I don't
I don't take it on a view of
judgmental I keep my judgments and my expectations
to a minimum or or a nun to a lull I learned that
I also have the skill to empathize
and the empathy is huge when you are faced with these egos because these egos
are huge and big let me tell you they they took their time building these and so when you are and it's so funny
how I heard you say and it's very common because they all said the same thing many of my many of my clients were
mandated by court so it's either that or go back to jail and so the choices there were very
minimal too absolutely and there's a ton of them too that I don't have a choice I
have to go okay so they show up first of all I I was trained to deal
with resilience and resistance I roll with the punches I roll with you baby absolutely you know why because
behind your no and behind your resistance is a judge waiting for you to
say I'm back so what is your better choice
stay here and hang out with me for seven weeks or go back to jail
and so I put it back in their Court to either comply or don't comply because to
actually to tell you the truth I love where I'm at I don't have to be here I can just call
out tomorrow and have somebody substitute for me and so when I gave them an approach when
I learned how to maneuver the ball back into their court and
serve it to them as a choice of you know what I really want to stay by the time
my groups got to level 12 and we have 14 sessions
they didn't want to go they actually wanted it extended they wanted to call the judge and tell them can I come back
most of them told me can I give this to my girlfriend
Mark I don't know if I was Pig chosen interesting but when I was doing these
groups it was it was a really great way to understand that you know men we all
have emotion it's not a male or female it's an emotion it's it's it's sexless
emotions are sexless and so what we do with them makes them feminine and and
and male what we tend to do with our emotions I don't know if it was Darwin who said it we all have a dark side I'm
sorry to tell you but we're all born with both sides the side that we choose to encourage and nurture is the side
that we live off of and uh we can sit back and reflect and say you know what I'm really happy I chose that side
you said it yourself and I picked it up as a jewel I don't know it's just embedded in me but you picked it up
yourself because when you did go and realize the self-realization is the very
first step to your self-relationship and when you realize that your anger was
getting the best of you that you saw there was a pattern and you came to that realization that Mark told Mark either
you get yourself straight or you're gonna lose what you got you took yourself to a six-month program
you took yourself yes that sat around and did not want to sit there and talk about their problems but
that is the problem the the uh what is it the uh the apprehension the thought itself is like
what that's preposterous I could never be in a group of men talking about my emotions and feelings are you crazy
and so there it becomes male and female but other than that emotions are sexless
and so you took the right Road you chose your family so that's a commitment you
made to your family you chose them same reflection where I'm at I chose my
family even though I left them behind I chose my family to come here because this is where I want to build for my
family and as a cancer colon cancer survivor thank you Father God for my second
opportunity I will now not ever take advantage or granted not that I did
before but now I do it with more with more position with more intent uh to be
able to give more to and leave to my children before my time is up physically because I know spiritually I'll be
around for years yes definitely I agree with that too I'll definitely be around for years so
you're telling me that you also um you had about with cancer that you beat is that what you said yeah
um in 2020 we got the layoffs we got we got the coven we got the stay-at-home
type of thing but I had always gone through IBS and and just issues with the colon in
the stomach uh and then all I was ignoring it for a while I have a high tolerance of pain I
don't know if other people do but I know I could be with pain for like a long long time until I finally say okay I'm
done I I have to do something about this and so 2020 I was laid off I was at a
television station in New Haven Connecticut shout outs to Citizens TV that was my first uh debut as a as a
producer and uh so we got laid off I stayed home with like stomach pains
and stomach problems and in July I went to Yale New Haven Hospital I went to go
get checked and nothing came of it because in the same time and space I
don't know remember when I told you earlier that I came to Puerto Rico to look for my biological mom
in that same space my sister came
and she says hey uh we got news from the doctors that Mom got covered
in the hospital in Florida and I said oh okay all right so what do
we do I mean what are we doing and she said well we have to go there and I said we have to go there I said okay so then
what do we do let's let's do this and so my sister came over she did the
arrangements we spoke to the hospital the hospitals told us uh we could come in on the 7th of August and they were
and then we called them they called us back the next day and said no you need to be here before the first of August so
we were able to go out there eventually that week of August of 2020 she passed
away and I thought nothing of it I knew I was doing these processes with my sister so
I took on the responsibility and that was all I was focused on so other than the pain I was feeling
like I said I have a high tolerance of pain I wasn't thinking of the pain I was thinking of what am I doing here what do
I have to do I'd never done a funeral before I've never done burials before I've never done anything before
and so this was a new experience for me especially dealing with my biological mother
uh we had her cremated and signed off the certificate we took the cremation
box to Puerto Rico where her last wish my sister said was to be buried in her
hometown which is where I was born in Calle Puerto Rico and so in Calle Puerto
Rico that's where she's residing right now in the old Cemetery
and when I came back you know that gave me Nostalgia that gave me that gave me
thought deep thought I never had it before ever and so after we bury her here it was a
very deep rooted kind of like a pool it was almost like a Like A Soulful pull to say listen you
need to come back to Puerto Rico and so I did that I said yeah I'm gonna
move back to Puerto Rico I'm gonna come back I'm gonna come back I made I was decided like I went through stuff in my
head and I was decided and my pain in December got to the point where I was
close to 123 pounds I was very I pulled
and pale and one of my best best friends my mom has a house here and she invited
me over that weekend and she says girl you don't look good actually this is one of my girls from Connecticut and she
goes you don't look good and her mom was like yeah you don't look good I said yeah I have this pain right here on the
on the right side of my hip underneath my hip bone but I really don't know what it is and it feels like a ball
they were like you need to go back to New Haven you need to go back to the hospital you need to go get checked Mark I had forgotten about me and my
health when that happened with my mom and Puerto Rico and helping her go through
the process I still haven't grieved her loss and it's going to be three years so it's been three years
but when I got back to New Haven I went straight to the hospital from the airport I did an MRI the doctor called
me the next day after looking at the MRI I had an appointment December 18th with
uh the oncologist in New Haven Connecticut I got a biopsy that day
December 23rd was my Christmas gift and it was positive for cancer colon cancer
and the very next words coming out of my mouth was what's next
what's the next step and grateful
that I'm here I am my second birthday is January 11. uh 2021
and um yeah um cancer level two stage a or stage two
level a and it was the most it's an experience to tell you the least
but that's another show Mark it is you know I was you know there's a lot to
unpack with you manage a special a special woman it's it's it's been fun kind of
you know there's a lot of things on this interview I've let you talk a lot because I just you know I'm kind of you've opened my eyes a little bit to an
industry that you know has stigma attached to it you know what I mean I'll be honest you know
even when I was like and I'm like man what are we going to talk about today because you know this pot thing can go two ways right it can go two two Avenues
right and I knew that I wanted to have a little bit more because I've experienced I've experienced
uh it helping um you know Ivy's on here too she says dang
here in those birds you have cancer life changing moment as she went through that herself I'm gonna get ivy on my show I'm
telling you my shoes yeah she's another Powerhouse female that's my girl we see
each other I've had some awesome I've had some awesome yeah I've had some
yeah it's been good I've had some awesome female guests on here man it's it's been good I I'd like to unpack it a
little bit more because I keep hearing through our throughout our our interview today is like it's spotty here and there
right I'm like what is the deal with the internet I don't know if it's on my side of your side and and so I want to listen
through it again and make sure that we have something very clear because I think we I'd like to have another
another portion with you because especially when it comes to cancer you know I lost my
nephew my my sister's middle son who's a firefighter we lost him to cancer three three years
ago and it was a devastating a devastating loss and
you know it that that you know it's still it's still like it was yesterday and then you know
to listen to you I'd like to hear what the next side of it the next side of it was because you know each everything we
talked about could be a whole show uh dealing with anger because I'd like to dabble into into the female side of that
we always talk about men's anger issues but we never talk about it there's female Anglers you know what I mean yeah
especially Puerto Rican women
they are what the what is it that we had the boomerang
when the boomerang was invented they copied that off the chocolate and Puerto Rico
Emilio said the same thing
that's funny so this this was a great hour this was an awesome hour for me I I look
forward to that if you're up for it I am I'd like to put you on the calendar again I'd like to I'd like to dabble
into a a few more a few more things with you you up for you up for that with me yeah absolutely I am honored to be asked
again uh to be on here all right I had a great time and um yeah yeah I hope your audience did too
it's good you know now that we've had a little bit of a talk I you know I'll process this show a little bit more
because I think I'd like to dabble into some of the questions a little bit more now that I've you know I've got to talk
to you a little bit I I I'd really uh I'd really like to to unfold unpack some
more stuff sound good I would be honored yeah yeah I had such a
yes it was uh yeah it was it was it was really good man I really I really uh was educated matter of fact
you know I I it's it's funny these shows that you you know because in my mind I'm
like man I gotta get focused I got to get focused because all weekend I've been dealing with Ashley you know this you know I didn't get home till late
last night we finally got to see her out of surgery you know which makes you you know feel better once that once once I
got to see her that okay yeah she she's a little warrior she's going to get out of this no problem and then you know
it's a big letdown on the way here and I'm and I'm trying to get focused on the show and I'm like and then it turns out
to be just this one of the good ones right one of the awesome ones and of course it's a spotty internet when it's
a really good one it's just you know this is just life is just such a whack it is it's fun though it's fun it's fun
to go through that um one question for you mark let me ask you something it is
so you're saying that the young lady that's in the hospital she's your student
Ashley Sage is one of my main main instructors here one of my main females
here she's a a a huge leader she's 24 she lost her mom to cancer three years
ago she takes care of a 28 year old older sister that has extreme
um autism and special needs and she has a younger sister so these three girls
are all together on themselves and you know she's kind of the uh the rock that
keeps things together and I've kind of Taken on that Dad role ever since you know mom's been gone I've I've taken on
that role of of being like her father wow and so there's a lot of things to unpack when it when it when that happens
but yeah that's who she is I'm so happy that you are there that you're there because when we become
that leader when we become that dependent upon person it isn't easy for us to receive help
from others or ask for help from others because we take on that leadership role that we can do it all our own
and so you being there oh you being there has given her more
level up with her own thinking that has brought her through where she's at today
because her martial arts training her endurance taking care of her sisters
taking on these roles that has made her strong mentally and physically and now spiritually probably because she has
time now to kind of figure out where is she going perhaps life
has been talking to her and she's not listening and this may be a wake-up call
for something that she needs to mention we've had yes we definitely
that we've definitely had we've definitely had that so we've definitely had that talk so I appreciate it yeah
that was really good I appreciate the hour Addie super uh super fun amazing I look forward to our next go around all
right all right we'll see you soon
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